We Asked 9 Real Guys Their Biggest Financial Deal Breakers

Money is never a more sensitive subject than when it comes up in relationships. In fact, fighting about money is one of the biggest predictors of divorce.

But it doesn’t have to be: Here we explain how to have the money talk—and why it’s so important.

And—newsflash—not only can knowing how to talk about money make your relationship more peaceable, knowing that you know how to handle it makes you more attractive to your significant other.

Don’t believe us? We asked nine guys ages 28 to 40—some married, some about to be, some on the market, some straight, some gay—to reflect on the financial issues they take into account before getting serious with someone.

Hear how they really feel about everything from the “wallet reach” and cheap tippers to settling down with someone who has a lot of debt.

LearnVest: What do you think of ‘the reach’—when your date reaches for his or her wallet when the check comes?

“It’s appreciated and the polite thing to do. Within the first three dates, the guy should politely say ‘I got it,’ but the woman should offer. It shows she isn’t being a user.”
Kevin, Westfield, NJ

“‘The reach’ is a bit awkward—it’s like, ‘I’m going to make a very obvious, slow-motioned movement just to be considerate, but I’m expecting you to pay.’ The gesture is nice in a way, but honestly, I just want a woman to give a sincere ‘thank you’ afterward. I’d prefer she say something like, ‘Would you like me to help pay?’ It acknowledges the elephant in the room in a direct, but polite way.”
Greg, Houston, TX 

“Depends on when it happens in the relationship. A girl can’t go wrong doing the reach early. It’s the safe play. If there was no reach after date number two—or an offer to pay the tip or, ‘At least let me treat next time’ – then that’s a problem and would give me a little pause.”
Brian W., New York, NY

At what stage of the relationship should a significant other start picking up the tab?

“I’m very old-fashioned, and I still think the person who asks someone out should pick up the check. At least on the first date. I think it starts pretty naturally from the beginning of a relationship and gets easier over time.”
Pat, Pittsburgh, PA

“I think the bigger deal is kind of the opposite—I’d know I’m close to ‘something real’ if we stop thinking so much about who gets what and we started thinking more like we’re making decisions like a pair and less like two individuals.”
Dan, New York, NY

“I think after three or four dates, or once it has become an exclusive relationship, it is probably time to start sharing the cost.”
Brian W., New York, NY

How do you feel about dating an over-spender?

“Won’t do it. Not interested.”
Dave, Philadelphia, PA

“If a girl is an over-spender with a ton of credit card debt and a closet full of stuff she never wears or uses, I think it demonstrates an undisciplined ‘live for the day’ type of attitude. I would be fine dating someone like that but that is as far as it would go—dating.”
Kevin

How do you feel about dating a spendthrift?

“HATE IT. Perhaps I don’t have much willpower, but having money for the sake of having money isn’t something that works for me.”
Pat

“Would not enjoy that.”
Brian S., Covington, KY

“I have never dated one, but would not like to. YOLO, and you can’t take it with you.”
Chad, Richmond, VA

How do you feel about dating someone who makes more money than you?

“Totally fine, as long as it isn’t used as a weapon for leverage in other aspects of the relationship.”
Frank, New York, NY

“No problem. I think I’d like it, actually. Ego is not important to me, but what is important is understanding the consequences of that high salary. Making good salaries typically means more responsibility, working more and sacrificing other parts of your personal life. If that negatively affects the relationship, that’s not good. If kids are involved, it becomes more complicated. How does it impact the family? Plenty of dual-income families are successful, but it’s important to have a good, strong understanding of the true costs and benefits.”
Greg

“I don’t really care, as long as it’s not too much more. If the other person was making $1 million a year, that may be a problem.”
Dave M.

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Medvedev Quotes Lenin While Speaking Against the Cyprus Bailout Deal

The Russian prime minister is not
happy about the Cyprus bailout deal. At a meeting with deputies
Dmitry Medvedev invoked a phrase of Lenin’s in reference to the new
agreement. From The
Telegraph:

Meeting deputies at his residence outside the city, Russia’s
Prime Minister said there was a need to “understand what this story
turns into in the long run, what the consequences for the
international financial and monetary system will be - and thus, for
our own interests as well.”
Mr Medvedev prefaced his comments by addressing Deputy Prime
Minister, Igor Shuvalov, with the words: “Let us, Igor Ivanovich,
talk about what’s happening with Cyprus. The stealing of the stolen
is continuing there, I think.”
The seemingly clumsy phrase was in fact a sharp reference to a
quote attributable to Vladimir Lenin, who used it to justify the
confiscation of capitalists’ property.

Russians with large deposits in Cypriot banks will be especially
hard hit by the recent Cyprus
bailout deal. The deal guarantees deposits of under 100,000
euros. However, deposits worth more than 100,000 euros will be
affected, with perhaps as much as 30 percent of the
deposits being taken to
pay for the bailout. The new deal includes a restructuring of
Cyprus’ banking sector, with the country’s second largest bank
having deposits below 100,000 euros being moved to the Bank of
Cyprus and deposits of over 100,000 euros being moved into a “bad
bank.”
Under the original deal all accounts in Cypriot banks would have
been affected. However, the Cypriot government
rejected that deal.
Russians have about
20 billion euros in Cypriot banks, a substantial amount of
which will be used by the Cypriot government to raise the amount
necessary to secure a 10 billion euro bailout.
Medvedev has touched upon Russian history before while
discussing the Cyprus crisis, having earlier said that the E.U. was
behaving like the
Soviet Union. Unfortunately for Russian citizens with more than
100,000 euros in Cypriot banks it looks like they will be
unwillingly contributing to the latest chapter of the euro
crisis. 

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